Papa. Pa. Daddy. Papa. Dad. Pa. Father. Papa. WHAT?! I love you.

I always believe that I am my dad's most favorite princess. And sometimes, when I'm feeling extra bitchy, I even pleasurably assume that my three younger sisters were all product of accidental sexual encounters between my old folks. What? You don't want to hear that? Fine. Don't. Let's just pretend that parents put a permanent halt on sexual congress post-kids.

Anyways. As a self-appointed princess to my dad, I made sure that I am the one who always receive most of his affection, attention and allowance.* I know. I am a delusional kid. That pathetic attempt of mine never quite happened because I discovered that my dad don't need to split his triple A's equally/unequally among his five kids. He simply gives THE MOST of everything he has to each and every one of us. That way none of us have to fight for his affection. his attention. and most importantly, the allowance. LOL.

Yup. My daddy is that awesome. He is so awesome that if my daddy and your daddy run for the most awesome daddy competition, my daddy will win over your daddy like it's nobody's business. *Of course you are allowed to say that for your daddy. I don't mind. Because I have the hots for all awesome fathers. :D

So. The reason I am stealing some time from finishing my sucky assignment to crap a little bit on this site *Sorry. It isn't my intention to be nasty. Or maybe it is. HAHAHA. Anyways, I am writing on how fabulous my dad is because today (at least according to the Malaysian time) is the day he turned the big 52!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!!! 

And here is something for the birthday boy. *It has been sometime since I've done this. So go easy on me. LOL.

Forever loving. Forever loved. 

I asked. You gave. 
I asked for more. You simply gave more. 
Selfish me, some accused.
Selfless you, I declared. 

You give.
Not because you need to. 
You give.
Because you want to. 

And for that, papa. 
I give you all my love. 
My love that is here to stay. 
My love that will never fade away. 

I won't worry. 
That you will stop loving me. 
So you don't worry. 
That I will ever stop loving you. 

Forever and always. 
I'm here to stay.
You're my first love. 
You're my big hero. 

I thank you for being you. 
PAPA. I LOVE YOU. 

Rejoice People for We've Survived Yet Another Year

Read with caution: Bountiful cliches ahead. Curse whenever you spot one. 

It's the end of another (amazing?) year and the dawn of yet another (fabulous?) one. As someone reads this, I bet on my future Coach handbag that someone will explode with annoyance, intend to smack my moronic head, perhaps screaming to my face, "For a millionth and last time, it is a known fact, you do not have to write that in every single new year's articles!"


My, I'm still condoning the self-abusing activity. Oh well. Let's not digress and get back to the main point, which is....yes! 

New Year's Resolutions

 (roughly translates to: A list of not doing the guilty habitual activities that you can't refrain from committing and thus most likely will appear in future year's resolutions list) 

So, everyone should know the drill when a new year is about to hit. With the future just a few ticks away, our consciousness will probably begin to thread back to all of our done deeds in the past, in which their implications had brought us back to the present time. Been there, done that. While such self-reflection manner is similar with everyone else, it is the outcome of such action that differentiate us. 


For some, writing down NYR is merely a fun thing to do, with their full knowledge that none of the resolutions will be successfully fulfilled. Just for F.U.N y'all. Others might view NYR as something that signifies another opportunity to start afresh. These people are the ones who truly hold to the essence of NYR and will go all the way out to fulfill their resolutions. For individuals like me, 

NYR = A list of (Serious + Money-Preservation + Relationship + Monkey) Businesses

*If you don't have a clue about the aforementioned equation, don't fret. Because I bloody don't get it too* 

And so, I shall write down another list of my New Year's Resolutions. Here's the top 16. I'll be back in the future to check out which one , if any that I have successfully fulfilled. Fingers crossed. 

1. Get a perfect 4.0 CGPA, at least once.  (Future self, refrain from laughing)
2. Be more generous in giving out affectionate, albeit uncomfortable expressions. (Smacking people no longer count)
3. Be verbal in acknowledging my appreciation. 
4. Go on more dates. 
5. Attend at least one wild party. 
6. Be the first to initiate a conversation. 
7. Do less shopping. (Again, future self, don't laugh)
8. Learn how to speak Mandarin. (Brush up my Cantonese, at least)
9. Speak in perfect Tamil with granny for a full session. (without any help of translators)
10. Cook a full course meal, without activating the fire alarm. (Self, this is pretty tough)
11. Be more active. (Physically, not sexually)
12. Go for a thrill ride without screaming profanity expressions. 
13. Be more daring with make up. 
14. Involve in a volunteering session. 
15. Commit to at least one extreme activity. (Anything that doesn't involve sharks)
16. Get at least one tattoo. (oh yes!)

Everyone, stay safe. And, watch out for dangerous flying debris. I'll see you in the future. Hurrah for 2012!

When Boredom and Wanderlust Strike

Greetings to anyone who cares enough to be greeted. My apology in advance for I have been a slacker in churning out decent blogs these days/weeks/months/millennia. And for being such a lousy blogger, I shall beat the pulp out of myself (Assuming if I find such self-abusing activity even remotely interesting).

But first, perhaps I should clarify how I have been convincing myself that my trail of thoughts are now turning pathetically worthless to be decent conversation topics, let alone interesting enough to be blog about. I know. I know. Pessimism is really getting into me. 

Anyway, screw me being a pessimist. First of all, what's with all the numerous, repetitive posts on being somewhere fun clamoring my cheap attention in FB? I know. It's just the green-eyed beast within me who's complaining about the gayness of my friends who are apparently having the time of their lives in the States. And here I am stuck at home during the winter break.

To their credits (and to my shameful dismay), they totally deserved their awesome vacations traveling across the country because they bloody did not spent all their greens in purchasing totally unnecessary albeit nice stuff in the first place. As such, I totally deserved my reluctant self-imprisonment, staring begrudgingly at the culprits (clothes/handbags/shoes/accessories) that have gotten me here. Damn you fancy stuff!

But, all is well in fancy Maria Wang's land for there will be more breaks coming up after this. And maybe then, I will be financially prepared to leave home sweet home and prance around in some exotic places far, far away. Oh, I shall also consistently post my whereabouts in FB to annoy those sorry people who are stuck at home, diligently facing the site for it might be the most interesting thing for them to do. Which is exactly what I am doing at this very moment.

Cheers for the holidays!
Brace for the 2012 armageddon? *Touch wood*

T.G.I.F.

It's Friday! Yea, big deal. I used to love Fridays. A lot. Not anymore. Not really. Why?

Once upon time, (LOL) in a faraway land (ROFL). Fridays meant so much more than the end of another hectic, tiresome week. It signalled the pathway to a totally glorious weekend, in which I am not obligated to face all thing academics nor I will feel guilty for spending all day on my bed/couch/floor/bathtub (well, you get my point). Friday is the day for you to do anything that you want to, because no matter how crazy/ridiculous you get, the consequences of your action will not bear much significance on the next day. 

Situation 1: You get drunk. No worries because you got the whole day to soothe your hangover and to listen to your relentless complaints of "I'm never gonna drink again!" (yea, right)

Situation 2: You spent the whole night to catch up with your favorite shows. Ignoring your mountain-high pile of assignments/bills clamoring for your attention. No worries. Because Saturday and Sunday are coming to your rescue!

Or so we thought. Because most of the times, we will bring our leftover free spirit from Friday onto the weekend. And lo and behold, when Sunday's midnight comes, we'll go lunatic screaming "where's my weekend gone? I haven't done a crap and it's Monday already"! Ooh, do these situations seem all too familiar with anyone out there? 

Anyway, as I was saying, I used to love Fridays. Not anymore because my perception of time has changed. Time for me now seems to flies off the wall, so fast. Lord only knows why must it rush so bloody fast. One day it's Monday and the next thing you knew, it's already Friday. And poof! You find yourself cursing on another Monday morning. Again. And the cycle repeats itself. 

So, you can see why Fridays no longer lift my spirit up the way it used to do. And it's sad because I no longer have anything/any day to look forward too. And so, my life is officially in a rut. Pathetic considering I haven't make any decent commitment in my life yet. 

Oh well, this is my plight of mind on another "glorious" Friday. Reporting from "sunny" News Brunswick. Have a great weekend people. 

PS: Anyone with parties coming up, do call me. LOL

Peace out!

Ponder On This.

At times, all of us have to confront our inner demons. And  trust me, when that happens, it ain't gonna be pretty. Today, I did that. And this time, it was particularly tough for me because I am fending off a thought that I desperately want to forget about. And I think this goes to everyone out there. 

I have to confront the thought of losing someone I loved. 

Trust me, being so far away from my family and friends and be unwillingly stuck with this unkind thought really do make you feel sick to the core. You may ask me then, why the hell was I thinking about it in the first place? 

Well, I wish I could have a little more control on my mind and it's top secret operations within my head. But, yeah sadly, I just do not have the veto power to do that. It all started when a friend of mine told me that he had just lost his uncle. Cause of his demise? Exactly the one that my ... has right now. So, it really did hit a raw nerve. Try as I not to, I automatically imagine the same thing happening to ... And I honestly wish that I did not thought about it in the first place. Because by putting that thought in my head, I am this close of putting it out in the reality. And God forbids, if it really does happen. 

Sometimes, it is so much better to not think about such upsetting things. Everyone said Death is inevitable and all of us are bound to leave the world at some point of our lives. But, to say it out loud is one thing, to watch it happen to your loved ones is totally another thing. If I could have the power to do anything, I want to make my loved ones to live as long as they could. The question is how long is long enough for us? How long does your loved ones have to stay to make you feel satisfied? We would not know the answer because this kind of stuff is really not up to our allies. We wish it could, but Life's ain't fair. It's been said so many times, but we would only realize that if we are stuck in circumstances that forces us to ponder on it. 

What can we do then? Well, I would start to give my ... a call and tell him to take good care of his health, try to be strong and wait for me to come back home. Yes, I'll start to give all my loved ones one more call to let them know that Life's too precious, too darn short to be wasted away. Tell them that their health means so much more to the people around them. 

I am still trying to extract this unthinkable thought out from my head. But, I have to admit that by it occupying my mind in these short minutes, it really does gave me something to ponder on. And I really hope that everyone is in their best health right now. 

Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay strong. God bless us all. 

It's no rocket science. My dad rocks! (Part 2)

Most of us have the privilege to be loved by a father (and my heart goes to those who doesn't), for a father's love is entirely a different play of emotions compared to a mother's one. At least, it is to me. So, to say that I am damn lucky to have both kinds of love is probably an understatement. 

I do not always have this feeling of extreme love towards my dad. Most of the time, I am contented to just pay him worthy respect and obedience that a daughter should give. Sadly, this means he doesn't often get his much deserved affection and and expressions of love. And we both know the reason behind this lack display of affection. Yes, we both have big egos. And our egos can't stand hugs, kisses and I Love You's. Not always. 

My dad - Our pillar for Life

Now, how should I describe him? Well, I could start by telling you all of his virtues and go on for hours. But, I rather not. At least, not to that extent. I guess it should suffice that I tell you that he does own some flaws, but his goodness far outweighs that. His goodness far outweighs everything. 

At this moment (in which I am still in a contemplative state of mind), I'm mentally flipping through my memories of him, those prior of me coming to the States. And the one memory that finally comes to a sudden stand still in my head is the one of few hours before I depart. Hours that both of us thought would be aplenty to say our goodbyes, but because of Fate's playful game, we failed to do that. To say that I had a bad day before I board for my flight would be the most lenient term that I could settle with. Because you could only empathize me if you were in my shoes. In short, that day was certainly not a good day for any of us, not because I'm about to leave, but rather because how I left them. If given the chance, I would leave my loved ones, especially my dad, a proper day to remember of me leaving for abroad on my own, for the first time. I would not have left him, all exhausted for rushing me to catch my plane (damn you traffic, thunderstorm & stalled engine!). I would not have left him, all shocked for having me to leave so fast prior to my tentative flight time. Above all, I want more time to hug him a million more times. (One measly, rushed hug is so bloody unfair for both of us). 

Anyway, now that I'm finally here, those moments almost seem passe, insignificant. Because over here, things like that doesn't seem to matter. But, I do hope that both of us could bitch and moan about that, one day. Just for entertainment's sake. LOL.

Nothing beats my dad's laughter

Right now, all I could think of is how lucky I am to have a dad like him. Truly, I am. And to think back to those younger days of mine, when I used to moan about about his seemingly insignificant lectures and scoldings. I wish to  have those moments back. Times when he dares to give me a proper, authoritative reprimand. Now that I'm considered a proper lady, he chose to treat me as one. Not exactly terrible, but I am starting to lose the feeling of being his baby girl. But, I shall not complaint, because my dad knows what he's doing. He's done it all the time. All he needs is our trust on him to lead our lives in this world.  And here I am, trusting him for life. Love you, Papa. Counting the moments to see you back at home.

PS: I'm being good, and so must you.    

It's no rocket science. My dad rocks! (Part 1)

I was certainly expecting this moment. The moment where I'll hit my all time low. 

I mean, you're not gonna stay cheery and gay throughout your entire life right? Unless you have the penchant to view everything glass half-full, which tells me that you're either one heck of a liar or you're leading a rather  misleading life (no pun intended). At some moment, you have to somehow hit rock bottom to rise up successfully in life right? Anyway, that's just me. Feel free to stab your argument on that. 

So, here am I, thousand of miles from home, with nil chance to go home in the near future (I'm referring to a year time frame here). To claim that I'm lonely is not fair for my worthy companions that I have over here, but to say that I'm far from lonely is not fair for me. Simply put, it's not my domain here, and I desperately yearn  for my comfort nest once again, dutifully pray that I could have back that secure feeling of being nestled around my loved ones. 

What's ironic is that, I used to have this ambitious vision of mine to leave home as fast as I can to find a better place, just so I could flex my independent skills and be on my own, for the first time. I wanted so bad to see this other side of the world, and I did get what I wished for. But, I forgot to think about the consequences of that fervent prayer of mine. God granted my wish all right, but he did with his own intention, not mine. Perhaps, He wants me to realize that home is the better place, after all. Because no matter how beautiful another place might look like, no matter how lovely new friends might be, no matter what: it's your home that you can see your true self in. 

I can't wish that I hadn't ask for this opportunity to see the outside world. Because let's face it, I did found some magical moments while I'm here. Moments that I cannot possibly experience if I'm still enclosed in those safety perimeters of my nest. But, throughout all those good times, I instinctively thought back of home. *How Mama & Papa would love to see all the things that I'm seeing now. *How Koko would love to learn the things that I'm learning now. *How my sisters would kill for the stuff that I could get over here. Yes, it's hard to ignore them when I'm happy. 

But, it's impossible to not think about them when I'm far from happy. Because they keep me going. Particularly, my dad. Corny as this might sound, I think it's still apt to call him my one, true hero.  

Continued